Republicans Back Global Cooling
Thank God for Republicans.
Remember all that hype we’ve been hearing about Global Climate Change? Well thanks to a poll released by the National Journal, the political right can relax. According to 84% of the Republicans in the Senate. It. Just Isn’t. Happening.
According to the poll, when asked the question “Do you think it’s been proven beyond a reasonable doubt that the Earth is warming because of man-made problems?” The overwelming majority of the highly intelligent Republican individuals elected to the highest legislative body in the US just said “no.” This is up from a similar survey from April 2006.
Some of the money quotes,
- “The only Inconvenient Truth here is that anyone can be a movie star, even someone as boring as Al Gore.”
- “Check with MIT.”
- “The Earth is in a warming trend, but the link to man’s activity is weak.”
- “The key phrase is ‘beyond a reasonable doubt.’ ”
- “There is the possibility that man’s activity, while certainly part of the problem, is not the sole reason for global warming.”
- “It’s the carbon dioxide, stupid!”
Wow, I was worried for a minute.
Of course we aren’t trying to convict humans for raping the Earth. (Where would you send them?) No, the Land-Lobster-loving Eco-Terrorists just want them to stop. but whatever.
Oh wait! I lean towards the Democrat Party. What are they saying – the Democrats and those foolish far left wingnuts (like the Hollywood elitists and the UN). Ninety-five percent are saying shit like “All the reputable scientists agree on this in their peer-reviewed studies, but what we don’t know is whether and how our efforts to combat climate change will be effective.” [my bold]
Rats! I guess the Democrats are screwed after all.
But hey, at least the Republicans can pray for Global Cooling. I mean, it worked for Ted Haggard right?