When Viral Marketing Goes Wrong


What do you get when you mix a terrorist plagued country, viral marketing schemes and a cartoon featuring anthropomorphic fast-food? Chaos!

Turner Broadcasting acknowledged late this afternoon that the suspicious objects that ignited fears of bombs across Boston today were magnetic lights that were part of an outdoor marketing campaign for an adult cartoon.
Today’s chaos began at 8:05 a.m. when an MBTA passenger noticed what was described as an object with wires and tubes stuck on a steel support girder underneath Interstate 93 about 12 to 15 feet above the bus depot at Sullivan Square Station in Charlestown.

Transit police Lieutenant Salvatore Venturelli said this morning that the object had some components consistent with an improvised explosive device such as an electronic circuit board, but he made it clear it was not a bomb.

At about 1 p.m., Boston police received reports of similar devices throughout the metropolitan area at locations that included the Longfellow and BU bridges and New England Medical Center.

Now, we all know that Ted Turner used to be married to Jane Fonda. Jane Fonda was at the Peace march on Saturday and went to Vietnam. Iraq is today’s Vietnam. Iraq is the frontline in the global war on terror. Therefore this WAS a plot to terrorise America and destroy life as we know it.

FrylockI won’t go into the fact that real terrorists don’t build bombs with flashing lights. Especially bombs featuring the face of oddly anti-Semitically named French Freedom Fries. We won’t go into the fact that Lieutenant Venturelli publicly told the world how to build bombs with things like circuit boards. (Why don’t you just blow up America yourself and save the terrorists the trouble, Lieutenant Surrender Monkey? There should be a law about state secrits!)

I won’t go into any of that, but I do feel it is my duty to point out the sadly obvious.

This bombed viral marketing campaign … worked perfectly.

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