Coming Out of the Closet


For those that missed it, Mike Foley has finally come out of the closet. But perhaps you didn’t know which closet he was in.

The rocket scientists spin doctors investigative texters at the fair and balanced information service, Fox News, have discovered that – yes – Mike Foley is a Democrat.

Because this news was so shocking, it was subliminally subtlety inserted into the caption during Monday’s Bill O’Reilly’s O’Reilly Factor in order to reduce the shock to the Republican public. It was the pressure of this secret that clearly drove Mr. Foley over the edge into drink, debauchery and finally IM madness.

It is obvious to me, that being forced to live the liberal lie all these years, caused all of this woe. Had he sought treatment earlier. Had he simply admitted he was liberal. Oh the shame.

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures [Wonkette]
Fox_Uses_Subliminal_Ploy_On_Foley_Head_Shot [News Hounds]

And now at the end of, what I hope, will be my last PageF*cking post on this porn pandering pedophile, I give you gratuitous Foley jokes as forced upon me by My Insomniac Brain (MIB).

MIB:  Ve have vays off making you talk.
Me: No! You will never make me break! I can withstand anything.
MIB:  Ve vill see about zat. Vhat about zis Joke?

What do you call being goosed by Mark Foley?
         A Fo’ Paw

Me: Ha! I laugh at your attempts to make me blog these. I will never give in.
MIB:  Zen ve vill have to turn up zee heat. Perhaps zis?

What is the name of the group of individuals behind the former congressman’s campaign bid in Florida?
         The Committee to Re-Erect Mark Foley

Me: Is that the best you can do? America’s Dumbest Video hosts can do better! 
MIB: Zen ve vill turn to more direct measures.

Why did Mark Foley prefer young boys to the president?
        Because one hand on the page is worth two on the Bush. 

Me: *groan* I will not submit! No
MIB:  Fine. You leave me no choice.

What do you call Mark Foley’s 16 year old sex slave, a visit to a stylist and Pamela Andersons’ greatest assets? 
          Page and a haircut; two tits.

Me: *whimper* OK. Stop! I’ll do whatever you want. Just no more jokes. Please.
MIB: I knew you would zee it our vay. Now. Please tell us zee location of Santa Claus. And vhere are his elves?

2 comments so far

  1. Anomalous Data on

    Got an Inconvenient Truth?

    No problem Uncle Billy will fix that for you with a little white out.

  2. […] news. Hurrah for Scooter – dodged that bullet! (And these are the Fox News invesigative texters, remember? […]

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